When a couple moves in together, it can be a bit of an adjustment. A lot of couples struggle with who will pay for what or how they set up the furniture, but there’s also the question of who will do what.
Divvying up the chores can be tough when both people have different ideas about their roles in the relationship. But when they listen to other people’s advice about their own partner, the situation can get worse. Like in this humorous situation about a husband and wife.
The husband reads what he considers to be an empowering book and quickly announces the new rules of the house. But what he doesn’t expect is that his wife would react quite the way she does.
Although it’s not a true story, it’s funny, so I just had to share it here.
Read the hilarious story below:
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be The Man Of Your House.”
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of fun that I want. Afterward, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back, towel me dry, and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
The wife replied, “The damn funeral director would be my first guess.”
Wasn’t that funny? Share if it made you laugh!
Wife Asks Her Husband To Go On Vacation. His Response Is Hilarious.
I had never heard of Red Skelton before, but after falling on the list of ‘one-liners’ from the popular American comedian/entertainer, I sure wish I had!
Skelton, who died in 1977, was best known for performing on the radio and television between 1937 and 1971, as well as hosting the tv program “The Red Skelton Show”.
This is a popular list of some of his one-liners about marriage in particular. For me, each of them is gold.
Of course, if you are a woman, you must have a sense of humor to appreciate some of these, and not be too sensitive.
Here is Red Skelton’s “Recipe for a Perfect Marriage”.
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said… ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’
8. She got a mud-pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’
Whose marriage wouldn’t last long if they follow these hilarious tips?